Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I Dream a Dream

my dream is to make a name for myself in art.
my dream is to be a gentleman to a princess i can pamper.
my dream is to invent a time machine which can make 48 hours a day possible.


ok ok those are not the actual point of this post.
Though the word dream can be used to mean wishes/goal for oneself, what i meant was the literal dream. The one we all have sometimes when we sleep at night.

i've been having very awkward dreams lately. 3 within a time span of 2 weeks to be exact. This is an anomaly to me since i do not dream a lot. Sometimes as long as between months.

1. I dreamt the world's population declined drastically, with me living alone in my own house which is the only safe sanctuary. Everything else is hostile, since well, think along the lines of "I am Legend". The people have somehow turned to zombie/vampires roaming around trying to kill me when they can. The mood isn't dark though, so i did'nt deem it a nightmare and wake up to cold sweat. It's more like how i lived my life alone, which was actually quite enjoyable even with no one around. Woke up unharmed and feeling a bit weird.

2. I dreamt i had only a week to live. I was hit with some incurable disease and i knew my time was running out. So i spent that one week telling families about my impending doom, passed on my belongings to people who would need them. And finally, my most inner wish, to create a final masterpiece of art before i die. I made in time and i woke up when i died. Again i felt out of place finding myself still alive when i woke up.

3. Just today i dreamt that i found the girl of my dreams (lol?), went out with her and had plenty of happy times together with her. Not much detail here cause it was just courtship and hanging out together. The most perfect dream girl i could pamper. I woke up halfway feeling...disoriented...and sad. It was so real i was like really living in it. Actually, i had such a dream in the past before very long ago. I felt depressed the rest of the day then knowing that it wasn't real. Different girls for this time and then, but personality wise? i think i can confirm to myself that my specifications did not change. I am still looking for that dream girl.


So are these dreams some sort of sign to me? people have been said to find dreams as an omen for something that has happened, yet to happen or really just passed off as another wild imagination. For myself, i think it might have been things i've kept in myself subconsciously taking form in my fantasies. How i interpret it myself is

1. i am always, and still is a home boy. Meaning there is no place like home. I can't leave home for more than a couple of hours without thinking of heading back there again. It was always in me also to love being alone. My favorite way of passing my holidays is to spend them alone. Not with anybody. Just alone. Perfect get away from everything. I'm pretty antisocial which i am constantly forcing myself to change because this world is too complex to live a life of a hermit now. But i sure don't enjoy mingling with zombies/vampires.

2. i dunno about this one. I don't think i can interpret it accurately but i think what my own dream is telling me is to do the things i need to do NOW. Before everything just passes by in a blink of an eye. Maybe in future when i'm near death this is what would actually happen.

3. this is...leaving me quite speechless. Has the 24 years of solitude gotten subconsciously to me that my inner desires are to have a companion? i sort of enjoy the freedom and solitude i have now (read number 1). But without me knowing i might have been longing for my other half. With my current tight schedule truth be told i can't afford to. I might just neglect her, which is not what i want. So i guess i just have to tell my inner self to hang in there.

The funny things about these dreams are, it never felt so real before to me. All three of them. So real i felt i was still connected to it when i woke up. It took a while for me to get my bearings back on track. It was just like the story of Lao Zhi dreaming he was a butterfly, or was he a butterfly dreaming he was a human?

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