BREAK!!!!

HELL YEA!!!! I HAVE NEVER LOOKED FORWARD TO A BREAK SO BADLY AS THIS ROUND. I'M GONNA RECUPERATE AS MUCH AS I CAN BEFORE THE NEXT ONSLAUGHT.

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i'm learning to take things easy this round. Won't be handling commissions. Take my time doing some personal works. Daily sketching and self exploration. Gaming non stop and catching up on lost time on movies, animes & mangas. i lost my internet connection for roughly a couple of days and found that time passed by so slowly that i had ample time to do the things i liked. It's good to feel the slow pace of things again once in a while. i just totally dumped the whole workaholic mentally for the extent of this break.

i noticed now that i have urges to do more traditional works lately. Watercolor in particular. After all the enthusiasm of going purely digital now i find myself reverting to getting dirty on pencil and paper. Human nature again to long to do something that you don't have the privilege of doing anymore. It's funny how we always contradict ourselves.

Speaking of contradictions, i'm a walking contradiction myself. Like i mentioned before, way back when i was still in my teens i used to be prejudice towards stuff like gothic lolita and now i'm finding myself gaga over it. i also used to hate the color green but thanx to a certain vocaloid, i have learnt to find beauty in that color as well. It's hard to name my favorite color now if you ask me about it.

i think my strongest point in art lies in colors. Ever since it started from a hobby, i was very particular about the colors i used. So now with no particular special preference for a certain color, i find myself having a lot of fun and freedom exploring with color combinations that bring out a certain mood or impact to a picture. i'm far from perfection though, even if i perceive it to be my forte. Regardless, i just want to have fun while doing what i love best.

*ahem*
i strayed from what i really wanted to say. Anyways, back to contradictions. i think what is important is that we learn to figure out which is the side of contradictions that would help elevate us into another level. Sometimes we remain rigid about it being our 'personality' or 'habit' which defines us. Maybe due to our ego or just part of us that wishes to not change, we sometimes end up shutting ourselves up in the bad end of it. And so we stop our own growth in that aspect.

i self-reflect whenever i can and found that i have changed quite a bit over the years. i try to correct some quirks within myself to some success, while picking up other idiosyncrasies along the way. It's almost an endless loop, but that's what makes us a little bit better each time we try to confront it.

i have this feeling that i might have just turned more eccentric and twisted within my own world. But that's just me. You be the judge.

i'll end off with some step-by-steps of what i've been up to.

rough sketch

color thumb

initial base and touchup

further refinement

preliminary textures

more texture spam and final result

Based off this video and song. i endlessly looped it while working on it to get into the mood. i enjoy drawing something of this genre but i can't do it all the time as it creeps me out while i'm on it. The creepier i make it the more scared i make myself. Yes i am afraid of ghosts and horrors ._.