Workaholic Sinkhole

i never used to value having to just sit down and listen to lectures, nod off, go home, rinse and repeat until the exams are suddenly here. Not until i stepped into the current hectic world i am in now.

True, time passes relatively slow when you are trying to pay attention to your lecturer droning away on the stage of his life. But realization dawns upon me now that i really missed that feeling. As the saying goes you never treasure something until it is gone.

Well, not exactly gone, since photography classes are basically lectures on cameras and i still have South East Asian culture studies. Still, i find the lack of such subjects now draws me to pay 120% attention in class. It's like an insatiable thirst which i didn't know i could possess.

The remaining subjects?

while ( kai_enrolled_in_TOA == true)
{
- Wake up early before 9;
- Go for a 3 hour class with almost non stop action at times;
- Pack home mountain-full of assignments;
- Moar work at night after a couple of hours of evening nap;
- Wrap up at 3 am;
}

it will be an infinite loop until i grad. (i think)

On the first day of orientation, our great principle T said that we were treated like we are already working for the next 3 years. i believe him then and still do now. i barely find time to rest these days. Rest feels more like a luxury now which is slowly turning into a rare delicacy.

And then when sem break arrives, it feels like a sort of emptiness whereby there is a sudden feeling that i have too much time on my hands (provided free-lancing jobs are not sought). It's like waking up feeling that i have to do some work or my day is unfulfilled. Some graduated seniors know this feeling very well whilst looking for jobs or even when the demands of their jobs are much easier than their study life.

Oh the sadness. On one hand we complain about how busy we are but when there is actually time to take a breather we feel out of place. My sensei told me once that most of the japs feel these way and have no clue on how to spend their hols. They have to hire assistants just to plan on how to spend their breaks. Habitual workaholics. Sadness.

Not sure what is in store for me in the future. Truth be told i have no idea what i'm gonna come out to be. i aim to be a tutor and maybe proceed to be a lecturer. But it might seem a little far fetched for me with my skill level. i'm working hard towards it and lets hope that by the time i graduate in about 1 year+ time i'm up for it. Hopefully, tutorship gives me more freedom and confidence to hone my knives.

Back to some happy time with the workload i have. And my parents and acquaintances wonder why i'm still single...