Killing me softly with his song

...the song of TOA

i'm getting mentally and physically fatigue. i know i signed up to expect this but when it hits it gets tough to fend it off.

It's not that the work load is any different from previous sems. Subjects this sem are pretty interesting as well, so far with nothing i really despise since most of the work involves doing it the practical way and getting dirty with paint.

But it is like i have nothing much to look forward to daily (except handing in my assignments of course). To make matters worst the spark and life of the class is gradually fading as more of us fall back when we fail to jump over higher hurdles. Sad to say our class jester wasn't exempted. We adept and move on again. The class forms a yet another closer bond since our numbers dwindle again.

Work wise, is it me or i feel our standards are dropping compared with our seniors or are the lects just being evil in showing us the REALLY REALLY GODLIKE works collected over the years. Have i set expectations of myself too highly? Although i know all of us improve ever so slightly but like Beng said, we look at the destination more often than the journey.

How true... those words bring some comfort. I can only hope to reach those levels some day.

Speaking of which my sleeps are getting more and more disturbed. No not nightmares of getting harrassed by sweaty muscular men but dreams related to TOA. If there are assignments left undone, although it is not due the next day, i would find myself having fitful rest in between naps. I have even dreamt of waking up late and missing class, only to suddenly jerk awake covered in cold sweat in the wee hours of the morning.

Sigh, lately my blog posts consists nothing but rant or emo posts. I think i'll take a short break from this place until i get out of this phase. It's a cycle and i'm finding ways to break it.

Tired.....so tired...

Demoralized

._.

i have no idea why and i hope to get out of it asap.

This sem is supposed to be the sem i'm waiting for. Where i start learning proper CG skills.
But, somehow i don't feel up to it.

Having low esteem problem with my works also lately.
i think i'm in a temporary slump. i hope.

Sem starts

And so it starts today.....

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On Saturday Monash had its convocation, and i attended it to meet up with my graduating Uni buddies. Puss...we need to go out for yam cha more often. Got holes ignore bros!!! watch it you.

I freagin haet you Monash.....you didn't prepare vegetarian meals when it was my turn. This year you had it. bastards!!! I ate my fill this year.

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On Sunday my old high school buddy came over and dropped his PS3 over at my place. Ian if you're reading this, you are freaking crazy you know that. But i likes it becoz i benefit :D

It will most probably collect dust anyway, since i don't have much time to play games. Still, i sure as hell feel dam lucky cause i had the chance to try out BlazBlue. I still haven't got the hang of it, so it feels pretty sucky right now. You better live up to the being the successor of Guilty Gear.

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Commission i'm working on right now. Madness when i have to start outlining it.

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha slight yuri action fanart.

Time to hit the sack to rise early for tomorrow's bullcrap.

Why why tell me why??!!

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀杀

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Next sem monday to saturday class again....WTF is wrong with you TOA. This is not how you should kill your students although it will be achieved gradually. i know i paid money to enter hell but this is too much aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaa..............

i don't mind busy, packed schedules/assignments but 6 days per week???!!! i thought that shit was over with together with my foundation days. Weekends was bad enough trying to work on pending assignments, now another day lost for doing work!!! aieeeeeeeeeeeeee...............!!!!!

Petrol dam cheap issit!!!! time not precious one issit. i gotta drive 6 days to college!!! Another notch to non-environmental friendly art college. As if wasting paper wasn't enough. You people should learn how to go green.

-_-

This round the sem break was shorter, i said nevermind. Sem break only ma, it's ok. Turns out something worst awaits me at the end of it now. Time given for self exploration is getting less and less. Social life no need to say. Not that i had any to begin with.

Oh and i'm already raving and ranting this much despite not having attended a class yet. i bet there are even worst stuff coming up soon. There is bound to be one or few subjects which purposely make my life miserable and wonder what the whole point is. Just wait, i can feel it sending slight tremors up my bones already.

-_-

Maybe i should just take less subjects and take a longer time to graduate. At the current rate i'm going i might suffer burnout even before i start working. Seems like each round i tell myself i'm gonna die from the stress of studying for another diploma after my degree. But i always emerge triumph. I wonder how long more my weathered body will last through another tsunami, each more powerful than the previous.

Sigh...time to seek solace with my my 2d beauties.

Gothic Lolita again

Like i was saying previously, i'm on a streak for gothic lolis. Pity sem break ending soon or i would have loved to do more.

Going for the 'Sweet' Gothic lolita style this time.
Man i suck at drawing flowers.

Another step by step on how i work.

i'll go straight to the outline this time.


Filling in of basest colors. Each diff color on diff layer.


Beefed out some of the defining light and shadow areas.


Touched up the shadow areas again and filled in the base colors for the flowers.


Defined the shades and highlights for the flowers until i'm satisfied that it looks at least like a plant.


Added in more corny graphical elements into the background and touched up the gal.

Hmmmm, cavities yet anyone? Sorry for the dental bill it's gonna incur for you. ;D